Wedding Venues-GTA

Weddings 101!

CHOOSING THE PERFECT WEDDING VENUE—HOTELS

Shangri-La Hotel, Toronto

It’s no secret that picking the perfect date for your wedding is only the start of what may turn out to be a very long list of To Do’s. You may be planning a cozy gathering and simple ceremony or a more lavish wedding. But choosing to hold your ceremony and reception in a hotel that can easily cater to all your needs to ensure your special day is memorable (and worry-free) is an excellent idea.

“Here at the Shangri-La Hotel, Toronto, in the heart of downtown, we pride ourselves on being extremely flexible. We’re very pleased to help make your wedding as perfect as it can be, whether it’s a large gathering or an intimate wedding or reception,” says Heidi Meisinger, Service Manager – Events.

The hotel caters to weddings and gatherings of all sizes and inclinations. This means that nothing is impossible. “Our goal is to make your wedding perfect.  So whether you wish to plan a last minute upscale bachelorette party, a romantic ceremony on our lovely terrace, overnight or extended stay accommodation for guests and the bridal party, or only the wedding ceremony and reception, we are happy to help.”

The Shangri-La Hotel, Toronto, has a number of options for ceremonies and receptions—but there are group size limitations on the various spaces—so it’s good to get these details out of the way as soon as you can.

SHORT NOTICE WEDDING BOOKINGS

The hotel is able to deal with short notice bookings and Sunday and Friday weddings are also fine. They are pleased to accommodate to meet customized requirements for your ceremony —and any requests for your interfaith jewish wedding. The staff work with you. They are happy to meet dietary requirements and work with you or your planner on the menus. “We are a one-stop shop,” says Heidi. “We are pleased to give you access to our list of preferred vendors to assist with details for your special day.”

Whether you’re not sure of the theme for your wedding reception, the style and color of bouquets—or the wedding photographer, the hotel is there to provide guidance. You are also welcome to bring in your own suppliers. The hotel’s flexibility in welcoming your own vendors and rentals, unlike many other venues—helps ensure that everything on your wish list is included.

WEDDING PACKAGES

The hotel also offers packages with excellent choices for key items such as table settings, champagne flutes, custom menu cards, linens, staging, and dance floor. Your bridal party and guests may be staying in the hotel—or not. The Shangri-La Hotel, Toronto, will be happy to discuss arrangements with you including preferred accommodation rates for you and guests, menu tastings, preferred valet parking rates, and a stay for bride and groom in the lovely one-bedroom honeymoon suite.

“Whether you simply need recommendations for vendors we know and love, or assistance with planning customized menus and accommodations, we will go through your requirements with you. Services on site, plus in-house beauty and spa facilities, make planning easier.

However, Heidi says she always recommends that couples utilize the timely services of a wedding planner to ease the demands on the bridal couple and families. “I find that couples who employ a wedding planner seem to be very much less stressed. They are calmer and happier and more relaxed on the wedding day itself. So a wedding planner is a key component—but if you don’t have one, ask for our recommendation—or just ask for guidance on the details. We’re happy to assist whenever we can.”

If you’re planning a ceremony, book your venue and your rabbi or officiant as soon as possible. Then an ideal next step would be to call Heidi to ask about the Shangri-La Hotel Toronto’s wedding packages or discuss your customized ceremony needs.

 

RABBI DAVID GELLMAN—BRINGING JEWS AND NON-JEWS TOGETHER FOR INTERFAITH MARRIAGE

This is the first in our series on perfect wedding venues—please stay tuned!

A Wonderful Wedding on the Shore of Lake Ontario

Hollie and Rodney—

Remembering the day of his daughter’s wedding, the father of the bride said that, even though it was September 6th, it was baking out and sunny—and so hot you could have walked into the lake.

Niagara’s only lakefront winery (Konzelmann Estate Winery) was the spectacular setting for the wedding of Hollie and Rodney a few seasons ago but still remembered very fondly by all who attended.  After the ceremony on the waterfront, the bridal party and guests moved inside for the reception on a lovely September afternoon that felt more like the height of summer.

“We wanted an orthodox Jewish wedding, although it was an interfaith ceremony, and we called a few people looking for an officiant,” says Peter, Hollie’s father. “Rabbi David Gellman was by far the best choice.” It was important to have the chuppah, ketubah, and other Jewish elements and everything was discussed and neatly woven into the ceremony exactly as the couple wished.

The ceremony was truly a family affair—Hollie’s brother Benjamin and his wife Mia, a musical collaborative duo known as Azalea, provided prerecorded music for the ceremonial procession and performed live for the first dances after the ceremony and before dinner in the reception hall.

The bride’s family hails from Australia originally but has been in Canada for nearly 25 years and the groom’s family is from the Maryland area, in the U.S. So Niagara was a perfect gathering spot, easy to reach for guests from Maryland and around Ontario. One of Hollie’s cousins also flew in from Adelaide, Australia—so it was truly an international guest list.

The bride and groom had known each other for about five years after meeting at Seneca College. Rodney is in the fire protection business. As it turns out, one of the best courses in this field in North America happens to be at Seneca in Toronto—where Hollie was then taking an aesthetics course. They had a long-distance relationship for a while and now, a few years beyond what Hollie describes as an “amazing ceremony” are happily settled outside Washington D.C. where Hollie keeps very busy as a young mom. “We now have a lovely grandchild—a little boy,” says proud grandfather Peter.

Asked about the wedding, Hollie says, “It is hard for anything to stand out since everything was so perfect! Both David and Alex attended—and were punctual, very friendly, looked fantastic, and extremely well-organized. David spoke very clearly and explained things as he went along, which helped people who hadn’t experienced a Jewish wedding before.  The ceremony was very inclusive and everyone was able to participate. Parents helped with readings—it was all amazing and perfect and detailed beautifully,” says Hollie.

*Listen to Azalea on YouTube.

 

York University /Bnai Brith—Anti-Israel Mob

B’nai Brith Canada reports from Toronto that  “An attempt to shut down a pro-Israel event on a Toronto university campus has failed.”

B’nai Brith Canada says that:

“Members of Reservists on Duty, an organization that tours North American campuses “to speak with knowledge and confidence on behalf of Israel,” were hosted by Herut Canada at York University’s main campus on Wednesday evening. Earlier in the week, posters appeared all over the campus urging “No Israeli soldiers on our campus!” – leading to security concerns ahead of the scheduled event.

“Officers of the Toronto Police Service and private security personnel were on hand to enable attendees to enter the event, despite the best efforts of protesters outside to block them.

“Some protesters, rallied by the group Students Against Israeli Apartheid (SAIA) York, chanted, “Viva, viva intifada!” The term intifada, in the Israeli context, refers to two historical waves of Palestinian terrorist attacks targeting Israeli civilians…

“At one point, police were forced to intervene to prevent physical violence and injury.

“The Toronto Police Service and York University should be commended for ensuring that this event could be safely held,” said Michael Mostyn, Chief Executive Officer of B’nai Brith Canada. “Enraged mobs cannot be allowed to prevent lawful and peaceful gatherings from taking place on campus.

“Further investigation is required into how a registered student group was permitted to glorify terrorism and attempt to intimidate those peacefully assembling on campus. There must be consequences for violent behaviour.”

For more details, see Bnai Brith Canada

Never is Now—

ADL SUMMITS ON ANTI-SEMITISM—

If you’re going to be in or near New York City on November 21st, please consider attending the annual summit of the Anti-Defamation League’s—Never is Now.

ADL’s signature annual event, the Never is Now Summit is, at its core, a one day conference focused on understanding contemporary drivers and dynamics of anti-Semitism.

“However, we cannot look at anti-Semitism in a vacuum given the daily reminders that any type of hate or bias ultimately hurts us all. Experts, academics, and leaders in the fight against anti-Semitism, bigotry and all forms of hatred will speak at this event.

“This year’s agenda for 2019 focuses on hot topics like global anti-Semitism, extremism, anti-Semitism on campus, cyberhate, immigration and much more and features such speakers and leaders as Isaac Herzog, Chairman of the Executive for The Jewish Agency for Israel, the composer of Dear Evan Hansen and La La Land Benj Pasek, the Associate Vice President of Public Safety at Northeastern University Michael Davis, Wade Henderson, the former President of the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights and many other guests.”

Also making an appearance will be media personality “Dr. Ruth” Westheimer, the Associate Professor of History at The Catholic University of America, a serving British MP, and many others who are well-known leaders in their fields.

The ADL was founded in 1913 in response to an escalating climate of anti-Semitism and bigotry, its timeless mission to protect the Jewish people and to secure justice and fair treatment for all. Today, ADL continues to fight all forms of hate with the same vigor and passion. ADL is a global leader in exposing extremism and delivering anti-bias education, and is a leading organization in training law enforcement.

 

Please see the full list and reserve your seats for this one-day conference.  HERE

 

 

 

 

Recognizing the World’s Oldest Nun

“Life is wonderful… however, too short.”

A number of media sites from The Vatican News to the European Jewish Congress added the details to an intriguing story in the UK’s Independent recently, which reported on the passing of the woman believed to have been world’s “oldest nun.”

Sister Cecylia Roszak passed away in the Polish convent in Krakow where she had lived for the last 90 years. She was 110.

Israel’s Yad Vashem Holocaust Remembrance Institute had awarded Sister Cecylia and her convent sisters the “Righteous Among the Nations” medal given to non-Jews who risked their lives to help Jewish people during the war.

Born in 1908, Sister Cecylia joined the Dominican monastery when she was 21. In1938, she went to Vilnius (today in Lithuania) to open a new convent. But plans were scrapped when war broke out.

The sister sheltered about a dozen people who had escaped from the ghetto there from the Nazis, one of whom was activist and writer Abba Kovner, who later testified at the trial of Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann.

The Vatican News reported that at her funeral in Krakow before she was laid to rest in the city’s historic cemetery, was a massive bouquet of flowers sent in remembrance by Wanda Jerzyniec. Sister Cecylia had sheltered Wanda, along with her brother, after the Germans shot both their parents in Vilnius in 1944. (The authorities had arrested her superior and officially closed down the convent in 1943.)

After the war, Sister Cecylia returned to Krakow—where she worked as an organist and cantor for more than 80 years.

The Mother Superior at her convent says that a favorite expression of Cecylia’s was, “Life is wonderful, however, too short.”

Jewish Interfaith Weddings-Beyond the Numbers

A recent article in The Jerusalem Post reports that the Jewish population in America is actually increasing and a big contributor is interfaith Jewish marriages.

This may seem, at first glance, surprising. But in a period of five years, the US population of Jewish adults and children rose from 7 to 7.5 million—this is from 2013 to 2018—and reports are that rates of participation in Jewish life remain remarkably stable.

According to The Jerusalem Post, the latest research stats of 1200 non-orthodox couples, admittedly a smallish sample, shows that interfaith couples feel welcome by both sides of their families.

What the figures do show is that these couples are active in Jewish life and traditions, but may not be quite as involved as when both partners are Jewish.  Another surprise—research finds, overwhelmingly, that the non-Jewish partner does not typically practice another religion actively.

This may be something to discuss among interfaith couples where parents and other relatives—among your extended Jewish families– may not be entirely on board with your plans for an interfaith marriage before your wedding—that research shows high participation and involvement rates in Jewish life after the wedding!

Note from the Rabbi:
What is it like in your interfaith family? I’d welcome feedback and I (and Alex!) are always happy to help guide and discuss.

More–read the article at The Jerusalem Post.

 

Making Your Final Wishes Known—

From Alex Gellman—

Pre-planning is a difficult thing to do. Few of us like to dwell on the inevitable, and we delay even thinking about it, let alone doing it, for as long as we possibly can. But it is important to reflect on how much pre-planning your final arrangements may bring ease and reduce the stresses of this sorrowful time for your family and loved ones.

 

It’s also important not to rely on leaving your instructions in your will. Very often, the will is not located or consulted until after the final arrangements are made.

 

This may mean that your wishes are not taken into account. As well, your family and friends miss out on experiencing what you may have intended for the proceedings. Sometimes this may be the sharing of special memories or music, photographs, or videos that mean a lot to you. You may also wish people with whom you have shared memories or close bonds to have a role in the service—if family members do not know this—they may be left out.

If you only leave instructions in your will, when it is finally located, your loved ones may be further saddened that it is too late to carry out your wishes.

It saves added confusion and distress if you are able to plan for your arrangements in advance. “I tell people this often. I work with North America’s largest funeral organization, Dignity Memorial. Yet, when I lost my brother, I realized just how overwhelming the added anguish of making arrangements could be on top of the sorrow and pain of losing a beloved family member.”

“Losing my brother Javier was devastating. And although I work in this industry, I found that the stress and emotional chaos I went through pushed me over the top. David (Rabbi David Gellman) conducted the funeral for us—and this was a relief. As a rabbi, David officiates ceremonies for many of life’s important days and passages from weddings to baby naming to memorial services and everything in-between.

“But to get to this point and to the peaceful last ceremony for my brother involved steps, questions, and concerns that I and family members had to agree on and deal with. And so my feeling that pre-planning is one of the most important actions you can take for your family and loved ones is greater than ever.

“I strongly suggested to my brother to make sure arrangements were in place, but this didn’t happen in the end. However, he did say that he wanted to make his final resting place with my father at Resurrection Cemetery.

“I chose to work with one of our Dignity Memorial homes—the Thompson Funeral Home in Aurora. With David, they ensured that everything went extremely smoothly for us. The Thompson’s directors were invaluable— fantastically accommodating, empathetic, and respectful at the same time.

“However, before they were involved and funeral planning could take place, I had to resolve what form and where the funeral would occur. Some family members weren’t aware of my brother’s wishes. I knew that Javier wanted a super simple cremation and to be buried in the ground as soon as possible. He had said he didn’t wish flowers.  But some family members wanted to hold a wake with an open casket and visitation.

“Finding the will that named me as executor and his final wishes was not the end of the problem—and this is why I always advise families to always PLEASE make arrangements before. Otherwise, the family is guessing what you want and they may end up wondering for the rest of their days if they met your needs as you would have wished and if they did the right thing for you.

“My advice—and I say this even more strongly after going through this sad and painful experience of losing my brother—is to make sure you specify the details and make all your arrangements known in advance. Be sure to let everyone know where this information can be found —so that family members know how to proceed and it takes the worry away at this sad time for them.

“If there is anything a little different—such as my brother’s wish to be buried with my father—follow through with this in advance to make sure the process is as simple as possible. Finally, also ensure you have prepared a will—although this is not the place to record your wishes for final arrangements. Then be certain that everyone knows where to find your final arrangements plan and your will. Whether filed with your lawyer, at home, or in a safety deposit box, pass this information on to those who will need it. I hope everyone will take heed of these recommendations for the sake of your family and loved ones.”

“The burial for my brother—Javier Alfred Villada—was at the Resurrection Cemetery on April 16, 2019.  The officiant was Rabbi David Gellman.

 

“The ceremony and service healed and brought peace to my emotional chaos and pain.” Alex

A Wonderful Wedding in the Vineyard

Christine, the mother of the bride, says that her daughter Sadie Marie’s wedding to Cody was everything they dreamed of. Sadie Marie and Cody had known each other for about nine years and had been engaged for three—but waited to tie the knot until they were about done with their post-secondary studies. “This was important for Sadie Marie and Cody. They wanted the time to be right as they worked toward their hopes and dreams.” They officially started on life’s pathThe bride and groom together as a married couple in October.

Both the bride and groom call the Niagara area home. Although Sadie Marie attended Niagara University in the US, her mom is on our side of the border, and Cody at Niagara College in Canada. Choosing a wedding destination that was enchanting, close by, and easy to reach for family and friends was important. The Cave Spring Vineyard and Inn on the Twenty in Jordan, one of the jewels of Niagara wine country, provided the perfect setting.

Equally as important, says Christine, was a personalized and personable wedding. This is why they chose Rabbi David Gellman, whom they have known quite a long time, to be the officiant.

“We’ve experienced very sad losses recently on both sides of the family. David understood our feelings and was able to bring a warmth and inclusiveness to the ceremony that brought in everyone. These were personal touches and memories—including those who were able to be present and those we were all missing. He performed a ceremony that was warm and delightful and also pulled at the heartstrings. David also enlisted family members as part of the ceremony and made sure that nobody, whether they were at the wedding or only in our hearts, was left out.”

David included items to highlight fond memories for the bride and groom and families. This included a hand-crafted gumball machine made by the bride’s maternal grandfather.  The “Unity Gumball Machine” was viewed as similar to a Unity Candle. “This was a unique element for a wedding ceremony, and was lighthearted but created many tender moments. Instead of lighting unity candles, Sadie Marie and Cody poured blue and white gumballs into the ‘Unity Gumball Machine’. We were all touched and connected by this. David’s ability to involve everyone and bring those we had lost and missed so much into the ceremony takes a very unique skill and was moving for all of us.”

Wedding Vows

David also built in the seven blessings, which are a traditional part of Jewish wedding ceremonies. Members of the wedding group, including Sadie Marie’s sisters and parents, and Cody’s parents and brother, participated in giving blessings. Another area where David was able to assist the bridal couple in the lead up to the wedding was guidance in composing their vows. “These were beautiful,” says Sadie Marie’s mom Christine.

Everything also went perfectly with the wedding arrangements at Cave Spring Vineyard and the Inn on the Twenty. The couple opted to be married outside even though it was October. It was a little nippier than they had hoped, but the sun shone through the ceremony.  A limo was on call to carry the bridal party and guests to and from the Inn to the vineyard.

The Inn on the Twenty in Jordan has a reputation for outstanding dining showcasing the bounty of Niagara. With Cave Spring Vineyard, it is known for hosting charming and elegant wedding celebrations. “We had about 100 guests at the wedding, and everything was managed beautifully. I couldn’t recommend the Inn on the Twenty and Cave Spring Vineyards more highly,” says Christine.

The happy couple took a delayed honeymoon on a cruise in the Mediterranean—waiting until their school years were done and they were in job search (and interview!) mode before they took a break. They have recently returned, ready for the joys of married life and with fond memories of their wonderful wedding day in the Vineyard!

Choosing a Chuppah for Your Wedding

Chuppahs are an important element of the Jewish wedding ceremony and are often an integral feature of interfaith weddings. Chuppahs are almost always used in outdoor Jewish weddings and are also a focal point for indoor ceremonies of all faiths.

The chuppah is significant for what it symbolizes—the unification of the bride and groom and the “home you will build together. It is open on all sides to signify that your home will be open and welcoming.”

Under the Chuppah

The wedding party including the bride, groom, parents, and the officiant stand under the chuppah for the ceremony. Sometimes, other members of the party (such as the best man and the maid of honor)will join them.

It’s traditional for the fabric to be a single piece with no supporting structures—but trends are changing and many couples opt for floral chuppahs, or combinations of natural and fabric designs; some are hand held with maple or birch branches and are carried during the ceremony; others are more solid structures. The chuppah often becomes a precious family heirloom.

Jewish Romance and Wedding Ceremonies

Susan and Itay Avny, of www.chuppah.ca, recount that they made their first chuppah for their own wedding—and launched a business that has grown to supply this important element of Jewish romance and wedding ceremonies in the GTA and throughout much of Ontario and into Quebec. “We realized that other couples, besides us, wanted a reasonably-priced option that they could customize to match the theme and personality of their ceremony.”

Susan and Itay have been in business for seven years. “We love to work with couples  to create an artistic, and reasonably priced service that is as personal and stress-free as we can manage—and as our own was—once we hit on the idea of designing and creating exactly the chuppah we wanted to be married beneath!”

Weddings and More Weddings—

“It was important to get married when and where we did and to have all our kids there, but it was also very important to be married by David,” says Luc Baril, who is one-half of one of the first couples married by Rabbi David Gellman. And, says Luc, it was such a special and memorable event—“we’re thinking of doing it again.”

Luc and Debbie live and work together, owners of Get Bent Painting—providers of quality painting services since 2001 in the GTA. They work on residential and commercial contracts, and also offer mural painting from Oakville to Ajax to Barrie—from a home base in Nobleton. Perhaps, not surprisingly, painting has a lot to do with Luc and Debbie (and Alex and David’s!) back-story.

“David and Alex had the same attitudes and thought the same thoughts as we did—we spoke the same language and tried to expand ourselves the same way. There couldn’t have been anybody else to marry us. David and Alex represented one of life’s big signposts for me. To illustrate how exceptional he is and was, David was a real help to me in reassessing my life goals to help get my business going in the right direction. My thing was doing murals and faux finishing back then mostly—.

“David provided invaluable mentorship and guidance that helped show the way to expand and develop, even going so far as to advise how best to approach prospective clients.

“That’s what’s so special. David and Alex are always doing and always learning. They are very generous and pleased to share who they are and what they do (and know!).

“Back then, David asked me to do a mural for them showing all of the celestial bodies as they were on the exact day that he and Alex married.  At the time, I thought that God himself had provided a scenario that was so in touch with us that it just flowered.”

“The key to his presence as a rabbi,” says Luc, “ is that David is able to bring depth of meaning—and the right meaning for you—to the ceremony and everything associated with it. He helped us write vows that reflected who we were and exactly what we wanted to say.

“We’re considering renewing those vows, with Rabbi David, of course, and my sister and my parents are thinking of doing theirs also—the venue will be our backyard. Debbie and I are keen gardeners and have built a unique steel gazebo—the perfect location for many reasons personal to us. Part of the backyard is a Thank You Garden in the shape of the Tree of Life, which also came from David’s teachings. I trust David absolutely to bring the right elements to make the ceremony ideal.”

“It’s hard to put into words how thorough they are—and how much they really did to give us the perfect wedding.”