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Jewish Interfaith Weddings-Beyond the Numbers

A recent article in The Jerusalem Post reports that the Jewish population in America is actually increasing and a big contributor is interfaith Jewish marriages.

This may seem, at first glance, surprising. But in a period of five years, the US population of Jewish adults and children rose from 7 to 7.5 million—this is from 2013 to 2018—and reports are that rates of participation in Jewish life remain remarkably stable.

According to The Jerusalem Post, the latest research stats of 1200 non-orthodox couples, admittedly a smallish sample, shows that interfaith couples feel welcome by both sides of their families.

What the figures do show is that these couples are active in Jewish life and traditions, but may not be quite as involved as when both partners are Jewish.  Another surprise—research finds, overwhelmingly, that the non-Jewish partner does not typically practice another religion actively.

This may be something to discuss among interfaith couples where parents and other relatives—among your extended Jewish families– may not be entirely on board with your plans for an interfaith marriage before your wedding—that research shows high participation and involvement rates in Jewish life after the wedding!

Note from the Rabbi:
What is it like in your interfaith family? I’d welcome feedback and I (and Alex!) are always happy to help guide and discuss.

More–read the article at The Jerusalem Post.

 

Weddings and More Weddings—

“It was important to get married when and where we did and to have all our kids there, but it was also very important to be married by David,” says Luc Baril, who is one-half of one of the first couples married by Rabbi David Gellman. And, says Luc, it was such a special and memorable event—“we’re thinking of doing it again.”

Luc and Debbie live and work together, owners of Get Bent Painting—providers of quality painting services since 2001 in the GTA. They work on residential and commercial contracts, and also offer mural painting from Oakville to Ajax to Barrie—from a home base in Nobleton. Perhaps, not surprisingly, painting has a lot to do with Luc and Debbie (and Alex and David’s!) back-story.

“David and Alex had the same attitudes and thought the same thoughts as we did—we spoke the same language and tried to expand ourselves the same way. There couldn’t have been anybody else to marry us. David and Alex represented one of life’s big signposts for me. To illustrate how exceptional he is and was, David was a real help to me in reassessing my life goals to help get my business going in the right direction. My thing was doing murals and faux finishing back then mostly—.

“David provided invaluable mentorship and guidance that helped show the way to expand and develop, even going so far as to advise how best to approach prospective clients.

“That’s what’s so special. David and Alex are always doing and always learning. They are very generous and pleased to share who they are and what they do (and know!).

“Back then, David asked me to do a mural for them showing all of the celestial bodies as they were on the exact day that he and Alex married.  At the time, I thought that God himself had provided a scenario that was so in touch with us that it just flowered.”

“The key to his presence as a rabbi,” says Luc, “ is that David is able to bring depth of meaning—and the right meaning for you—to the ceremony and everything associated with it. He helped us write vows that reflected who we were and exactly what we wanted to say.

“We’re considering renewing those vows, with Rabbi David, of course, and my sister and my parents are thinking of doing theirs also—the venue will be our backyard. Debbie and I are keen gardeners and have built a unique steel gazebo—the perfect location for many reasons personal to us. Part of the backyard is a Thank You Garden in the shape of the Tree of Life, which also came from David’s teachings. I trust David absolutely to bring the right elements to make the ceremony ideal.”

“It’s hard to put into words how thorough they are—and how much they really did to give us the perfect wedding.”