Baby Naming Ceremony

We took these lovely photographs recently at a baby naming ceremony conducted by the Rabbi and received a very nice testimonial from the parents. Thank you!

“We would like to truly thank Rabbi Gellman for the wedding and baby naming services that he provided. As my husband and I are an interfaith couple, finding a rabbi to marry us proved to be a difficult task. Not only did Rabbi Gellman agree to assist us but he got to know us as a couple, he created a beautiful ceremony and delivered the service alongside my husband’s minister. Fast forward two years later, when our beautiful daughter was born, my husband and I knew that Rabbi Gellman was the best choice for her baby naming. The service yet again moved everyone in the room. He is professional, easy to talk to and delivers beautiful services.”  Jordana

Wedding Planning 101-Before Your Day

What you need to know:

Before the Wedding # 1—

If you’re planning a wedding, the best advice is to first choose the officiant and the location—so you have the date, time, and place of this great event in your lives secured.

Then you’ll likely be thinking of your wedding gown, and where to hold and how to plan the reception, how many guests and what and when to serve, and then you’ll probably wonder about dancing and entertainment, photographers and videographers.. You’ll be careful to ensure that you not only have all the arrangements made to your satisfaction—but that you have the best possible suppliers—from venue to the limousine to the hairstylist—so that everything is perfect, on time, and done with the least stress to everyone concerned.

Obtaining referrals for all elements, whether it’s catering or bouquets that you’re looking at—and reading reviews, testimonials, and references—is an essential safety measure.

Unexpected Wedding Events

There are many moving parts to a wedding and if couples are working and busy with family and other commitments—a wedding ceremony can involve a ton of unexpected elements and decision making to juggle and manage.

Hiring a wedding planner is often the ideal solution, especially if you’re looking at more than a simple ceremony with a limited guest list. The Rabbi has officiated at weddings with planners and without—and is able to offer guidance to simplify and make it easier on you, either way.

Note: Rabbi David Gellman is happy to provide names if you need them to give you options and point you in the right direction. (Please see Wedding Vendors & Venues or call us and ask).  Most reputable suppliers have networks of contacts they know and trust and it takes the worry off you.

Wedding Costs in Ontario

Since one of the starting points for wedding planning is budget, here is a reference breakdown of average wedding costs in Ontario/circa 2019—*

  • The average cost of a wedding is $30,717.
  • The average cost of a wedding venue is $11,046. The average cost
    of a wedding DJ is $1,442.
  • The average cost for catering is $63 per guest.
  • The average cost for a wedding cake is $353.
    Multiple tiers, decorations, and fillings can be more expensive.
  • The average cost of wedding favors is $262.
  • The average cost for independent catering is $8,178.
  • The average cost of bridal party gifts is $253

* These are average costs/taking into account big and small weddings and associated events.  It may be key to note that 31% of couples said they exceeded their wedding budget!

MORE TO COME—STAY TUNED FOR OUR SERIES ON WEDDING PLANNING DO’S AND DON’T’S

 

Planning Ceremonies in Ontario 2021—Weddings 101

OUTDOOR WEDDING CEREMONIES

As the pace of reopening heats up across Ontario and Canada, couples with marriage on their minds are perking up.

Check your local regulations for any specific restrictions in your area. You may prefer to wait until you can accommodate the large gathering and reception of your dreams.

But if you’d like to be married and are happy with moving on with your ceremony and can’t wait for the remaining restrictions (such as travel or gathering numbers) to end, it’s an excellent idea to talk with a local wedding planner ASAP.

Suppliers of wedding-related services from photographers to venues are running out of dates and you may have to plan farther into the future than you’d intended, or perhaps assess whether a more-intimate ceremony will suit you better with videos or live-streaming. Either way, it’s often helpful to talk to a wedding planner—either to plan and manage everything, provide guidance, or a day service to make sure your plans meet all the requirements and that everything goes well at your ceremony—indoors or outdoors.

(Toronto regulations.)

(Ontario regulations.)

What can you do to make the ceremony as picture-perfect as you’ve always dreamed—of what areas will you need to consider, even with a wedding planner—to make things go as smoothly as possible?Jewishinterfaithweddings-Ontario

REOPENING ONTARIO FOR WEDDINGS

Even with Ontario opening up and relaxed gathering limits, holding your wedding outside may remain a popular choice for many couples with ceremonies in 2021/summer 2022 and beyond. Physical distancing is easier to practice, for one thing. Without crystal balls some couples are being pragmatic and anticipating changing circumstances.

Most wedding planners seem to agree that outdoor weddings will likely remain more popular going forward. Outdoor ceremonies come with their own set of circumstances and watch-out-for items.

Melissa Baum of Baum Event says, “it’s good to keep in mind that weddings are booked a season ahead usually. Popular dates fill up quickly for venues and all types of suppliers and services.” And this hasn’t changed during recent times. Even for smaller ceremonies with fewer guests, Melissa suggests scheduling your ceremony ASAP—inside or outside.

Even if the ceremony is going to be outside on a beach or in a park, for example, you will need to check if licenses or permits are required—and if your time and date of choice are available.

Rabbi David Gellman suggests booking early also. “We try to be as flexible as we can, but reserving your ceremony date and time as early as possible are probably among the first items you should arrange.”

Here are some collected tips to make sure your ceremony lives up to expectations and that your guests are comfortable and enjoy themselves.

PLANNING OUTDOOR WEDDINGS

  1. You can’t ensure the weather—so anticipate. Have canopies or umbrellas at the ready. If your venue is used to holding outdoor ceremonies, as many are, such as vineyards, they will likely have this in hand. Be sure to double-check.
  2. You might need fans, blankets, sunshades, bug spray, towels, collapsible chairs, or stools for emergency seating, water, juice, and snack supplies.
  3. Is it at a commercial venue or a park? If the latter, check into restroom facilities.
  4. Will seating be available for guests who need to sit for a while, or will you need to provide it?
  5. Permits for the location (and parking?).
  6. Depending on local regulations, ensure that mask, social distancing, and other policies are communicated in advance to be managed effectively at the time.
  7. Also check what else is going on, such as other events that may be scheduled near your time—so you will know how long you have and to avoid over-booking or confusion re guests/parking/directions, etc.
  8. Dress code? If the ceremony is in a paved or patio-type setting with a hard surface, what your guests wear won’t be a worry. If the ceremony is in a country field or on a beach… it may be. Specify on the invite any dress-code suggestions.
  9. If it’s a windy day, this could be a problem—make sure things are secured and that someone will look after all these little issues, besides you, in the wedding group.
  10. Pet area? If the wedding is outside, guests may bring their four-legged friends. Are they invited? Make this clear. Have scoop bags available, rubbish receptacles, and a fenced off area for pets to relax away from any crowd in case of over-excitement.
  11. And if smaller children will be in attendance—perhaps have some distractions like toys in case of over-excitement or boredom. Juice boxes and snacks are handy here, too!
  12. It’s likely you’ll be a lot more relaxed and comfortable on the day if a wedding planner is overseeing and coordinating.

Outdoor events sometimes come with different concerns depending on the location—if not using a wedding planner, tap members of your wedding party, family, or friends to help out with some of these areas if you can—then you can relax and enjoy your wonderful wedding.

A little extra planning may be required during this time. But it’s worth the effort as your ceremony will be a precious memory to everyone present long after the worries of Covid have been almost forgotten.

 

 

  • Photograph by Dmitry Zvolskly from Pexels

Wedding Licenses Extended Due to Stay-at-Home Orders in Ontario

Due to the province-wide stay-at-home orders, validity periods have been extended for wedding licenses issued in Ontario.

  • Licenses issued between December 1, 2019 and July 24, 2020 are still valid and can by used until July, 24, 2022.

  • Licenses issued between October 1, 2020 and December 31, 2020 are still valid and can by used until February 10, 2023, and

  • Licenses issued between January 1, 2021 and the end of the third province-wide emergency due to Covid-19, (which was declared on April 7 and has been extended to June 2, 2021) will be valid from the date they are issued until 24 months past the end of the third province-wide emergency.

Please contact us if you have any questions or would like to schedule a date for your wedding ceremony.

 

 

 

  • Thank you Dimitri Kuliuk/Pexels.

 

Apply Online for Wedding Licenses in Toronto

State of Emergency/Stay at Home Orders and Wedding Licenses—2021

The City of Toronto has announced that while the state of emergency and stay at home orders are in effect: “As part of Toronto’s COVID-19 response, Registry Services counters at the City Clerk’s Office at City Hall and the North York, Etobicoke and Scarborough Civic Centres are closed for walk-in services. Marriage licences will be issued by appointment only.” You must first submit an online application; you will receive an application number; and this must be submitted when applying for your license.

Apply for your marriage license here in the General Toronto Area; otherwise, please check with and apply for your license in your local municipality.

After you apply and receive your license, you will need an officiant and to set the date for your wedding ceremony! Please contact for more information.

Our Backyard Wedding—

Celebrating with Love and Laughter—

Fun and lots of laughs were what they hoped for, asked for, and how they celebrated at their fall wedding, says Karianne Marten-Spagnuolo, who married  her husband Adam on September 29,, 2020, in Etobicoke, a suburb of Toronto.

The fact that the ceremony took place at home had not been part of the original plan, says Karianne (usually known as Kari).  They had scheduled a big destination wedding in the beautiful resort area of Cabo San Lucas, in Baja California (Mexico).

But they had no idea that a pandemic would intervene to change their plans. Faced with uncertainty and delay, Kari said they decided to go with a different plan. “We wanted to be married!”

“We wanted to hold a special wedding ceremony to celebrate our love with as many friends and family as we could. The numbers were restricted due to the pandemic, but the ceremony at home was wonderful.”

The ceremony took place  in the backyard on a lovely sunny Tuesday that turned into a perfect evening for a wedding.

When the bridal couple booked their destination wedding, they had planned to tie the knot with about 50 guests present  “So it was hard that we had to limit our guests and to downsize the guest list to meet Covid regulations,  We were very sorry that we couldn’t include everyone we had hoped to celebrate with us.

“After much hard work, we’d managed to include 30 close family and friends, although it was supposed to be 25. But as it turned out, five guests were unable to make it for scheduling or other reasons, so we ended up with just the right number. 25! We were so glad to see everyone come to the ceremony.”

The wedding was quite unique. “We actually wanted a service that was based on love, happiness, and energy,” says Kari, “and David, who is my husband’s best man’s neighbor, was able to create the perfect ceremony for us.”

“We had requested and talked about our ideas for a fun and memorable ceremony, and David absolutely made this a reality,” says Kari. “He had us in stitches.”

Everything about the wedding was unique—including the dress code. Adam is a big fan of DC and Marvel comics, so while the bride went traditional and wore a lovely white short dress for the at home ceremony, the groom wore a T-shirt —and so did the officiant. David stuck to the dress code and wore a Batman T-shirt.”

Many of the guests dressed with this in mind, too, showing their superhero or character favorites… although Kari said the female guests tended to dress up (as you love to do for a wedding!), while most of the guys went for the casual or comic theme, in character-full T’s.

Kari says that David gave a lot of thought to the ceremony and was able to incorporate not only the humor they had asked for, but key family members, including Adam’s grandparents, in the ceremony.  “And it was very nice that we were also able to give a nod to our lost loved ones, whose presence was very absent and missed by everyone.”

Adam and Kari celebrated the nuptials with a party at home following the ceremony and then a short honeymoon in Ottawa.

The bridal couple, who have known each other for about 15 years, also plan to celebrate their five-year ‘dating’ anniversary this coming New Year, says Kari. (Kari and Adam’s sister were friends first, growing up in Etobicoke.)

In the meantime, says Kari, “Things are pretty good. While wedding plans were affected by the pandemic, our work lives haven’t changed too much.” Kari works in early childhood education/child care and this has continued and Adam keeps busy with his work as a plumber.

On the horizon, especially with possible vaccines coming and looking ahead to when life opens up again for travellers, Kari says they might be able to dust off their plans and make that delayed visit to Cabo. “We had already booked, but it was all put on hold. Like most in this situation, we could reschedule but not obtain refunds. Once things are go again, we’ll probably be off to Mexico.” Guests who had pre-booked have the same options to reschedule. “So there’s a good chance we’ll hold another big wedding celebration—in the beautiful surroundings of Baja California.”

“But we’re so glad we tied the knot here and got married officially. Despite all that we’ve faced this year, it was a wonderful wedding ceremony full of good times, lots of laughs, and great memories—and we’ll remember it always.” —

 

 

Wedding Planning During Covid-19

Even in normal times, it’s a good idea to be able to call on experts to handle the details and ensure your wedding ceremony goes smoothly and lives up to expectations.

“Today, with Covid-19, it’s even more valuable,” says Melissa Baum of The Baum Event Company, a Toronto event-planning and design firm specializing in luxury social gatherings. The team, led by Melissa Baum, plan, design, and execute incredible curated and detailed events that speak to each client’s personality and taste, and that hasn’t changed.“

With regulations in constant flux on everything from guest numbers to music to dancing to whether buffets are allowed (not yet), access to a knowledgeable professional who knows how to plan and pivot to meet new circumstances makes things a lot easier.

At the Baum Event Company, Melissa says, “Our goal is to help create the wedding of your dreams. We make sure it’s stress-free, carefree, and as enjoyable for everyone in the wedding party as it is memorable for the couple and guests.”

This includes guests who attend in person and those who may be watching from afar on video, by Zoom, or a streaming service. With guest list restrictions, many weddings involve a greater technological element to enable more friends and family to be ‘present’ than maximums permit.

The big difference for couples getting married now is the high degree of ongoing uncertainty as a result of Covid-19.

Couples are confused as to whether to simply downsize and proceed or wait and see and hope for the best. Melissa says her best advice since nobody can anticipate when life will return to ‘normal,’ is to book your date.

Mostly, couples seem to be sticking to the schedule—often planning to hold another (larger) wedding reception or party when the regular pattern of life resumes.

Once you pick a specific date, you can still play it by ear and adapt to changing regulations or other circumstances affecting, perhaps, out-of-town/province or out-of-country guests. You may still decide to proceed or, at that time, accept the consequences and reschedule.

However, it’s good to keep in mind that weddings are booked a season ahead usually. Popular dates fill up quickly for venues and all types of suppliers and services, and this hasn’t changed. So even if you’re planning a smaller ceremony with a restricted guest list, Melissa suggests scheduling your ceremony ASAP.

A firm date allows the couple to reserve and confirm the venue for the ceremony and reception and book preferred vendors and suppliers. You’ll be able to relax, knowing that your choices for flowers, catering, hair stylists, videographers, photographers, and makeup artists are available.

In extenuating circumstances, where perhaps a close family member’s health or changing travel options leads to a delay, situations are addressed on a case by case basis, Melissa says, “We do our very best to keep the clients happy.”

If you would like to get married next year and haven’t yet picked a date, starting sooner rather than later with enough advance time and sufficient leeway to book and confirm supplier services and dates to suit your schedule will make all the difference.  So will having a skilled wedding planner working on your behalf to make sure your ceremony comes together in every way as you anticipate.

For wedding planning in the time of Covid—since we don’t know when it will end or what may happen next—an experienced planner should be able to design, manage, and coordinate all the intricate elements and details that go into making your ceremony perfect.

At Baum Event, Melissa says they are skilled at taking care of details from concept and coordination, and this includes handling and adapting to new circumstances. Planning and follow through from start to finish is well within the daily scope of work for this company that specializes in weddings, but also handles a range of events from mitzvahs to corporate in normal times.

Baum is also experienced in planning destination weddings—although, for now, these are on few wish lists.

“The pandemic and restrictions on gatherings make it trickier but also more important to have help to stay on top of things.

“Oversight to ensure anything that may be needed to accommodate the pandemic is done correctly and safely takes the stress off. Even if the guest lists are smaller and there are limits on dancing and socializing, we all still dream of having the perfect wedding.

“We’re very pleased that we’re able to continue to offer the same high level of in-depth and quality service as pre-pandemic.”

For more information, contact: [email protected]

Wedding Licences Extended in Ontario

To assist the many couples who have had to postpone their plans and wedding ceremonies due to the Covid- 19 outbreak, the Ontario government has issued an extension for marriage licenses and made amendments to Ontario’s Marriage Act.

If you obtained your licence any time after December 1, 2019, or while the State of Emergency is still in force, it will be valid for up to 24 months after the state of emergency ends.  You won’t need to get a new licence unless you’ve misplaced the document or have changed address or marital status.

This does not include licences where there has been a change to critical licence information after the date it was issued (such as if either of the parties to the marriage has changed their name, or

Where information is no longer accurate (such as address) or the licence has been lost of mislaid, couples may be able to replace the licence without the usual $75 fee, although the particular municipality may charge for administration costs. If a new licence is required, they should seek a replacement only within three months of the scheduled ceremony.

State of Emergency/Stay at Home Orders and Wedding Licenses—

While the state of emergency and stay at home orders are in effect: “As part of Toronto’s COVID-19 response, Registry Services counters at the City Clerk’s Office at City Hall and the North York, Etobicoke and Scarborough Civic Centres are closed for walk-in services. Marriage licences will be issued by appointment only.” You must first submit an online application; you will receive an application number; and will submit this when applying for your license.

Apply for your marriage license here in the General Toronto Area; otherwise, apply for your license in your local municipality.

Note, new licences purchased after the province-wide state of emergency ends must still be used within the three-months, as before.

More information on requirements affecting weddings in Ontario.

Link to the latest newsletter.

Flowers

Ontario allows larger gatherings at wedding ceremonies

Wedding Dates-

Wedding couples in Ontario and the GTA who have been holding tight on wedding plans for the last few months are feeling a new sense of optimism as all areas in the province have moved from grade 2 to 3  and we begin to re-open, gently, in this stressful time of Covid-19.

Many have been cheered by the news that the Ontario government is allowing more attendees at indoor and outdoor wedding and other ceremonies in “recognition of the importance of being with loved ones during the moments that matter most.”

Stage 3– Weddings/Ontario

The government has extended the number of people able to attend outdoors to 100 attendees. For indoor weddings (and receptions), the maximum number is 50. Where people gather inside for services such as weddings, they can  continue to fill up to 30 per cent of a room’s capacity in Stage 3.

This number does not include any staff, workers, performers (or the officiant!) —the 30 % of allowable capacity for an indoor venue is for your guests and members of the wedding party.

The official Ontario government website gives additional information on regulations as they change and can be checked here. (You can also download a PDF.)

At both indoor and outdoor ceremonies, proper health and safety advice must be followed including physical distancing. Buffet-style or self-serve meals are not permitted. The Couple’s Dance and Father/Daughter and Mother/Son dances are now allowed, but still no dancing between guests.

Seating must be assigned at the reception, with family and social circles kept together where possible. Guests

At Stacey and Gianni’s wedding.

are asked to remain seated except to visit the washroom or leave–they are not permitted to walk around and socialize, and masks are to be worn except when eating or drinking.

Musicians and performers are welcomed, provided distancing rules are followed and, in some cases, plexiglass shields may be required. Performers are not permitted to share microphones and the noise or music level must be moderated so that guests in attendance do not have to lean close or speak loudly to be heard.

“We have taken deliberate steps to increase testing and increase our ability to track and contain this virus,” said Christine Elliott, Deputy Premier and Minister of Health.  “I strongly urge everyone to remain careful and cautious as we are all still at risk.”

More: CBC News Report

Please note: the above restrictions on size of gatherings also apply to funerals and other services.

 

The Perfect California Wedding

Brett and Arthur—

Brett and Arthur enjoyed a wonderful wedding ceremony in October when they were married in the lovely surroundings of Healdsburg, in California’s Sonoma region, by Rabbi David Gellman.

“It was an interfaith wedding—Arthur is from England and it was important to have a ceremony that paid homage to both Christian and Jewish traditions for the families, and also was personalized exactly the way we wanted it,” recalls Brett.

“There were a number of special Jewish elements we wanted to include such as the Ketubah, seven blessings, smashing the glass, wine, and the Chuppah. Whatever we did decide was very meaningful and special to us. I carried the corn dolly Arthur’s mother had once walked down the aisle with at her ceremony in England and that his grandmother before her carried at her marriage.”

Arthur is from Sevenoaks in Kent, and Brett calls America’s key wine county home. The couple met in 2010 and were co-workers and good friends for a long time—until a change in employment opened the door and saw the friendship change as they became a couple. Brett and Arthur both work in biotech in food technology and live in the Bay Area.

“We wrote our own vows. Arthur felt very strongly about doing this,” says Brett, “and we were very pleased. They were perfect.”

The wedding was held at a lovely restaurant venue in Healdsburg, which is always on the list/wins awards as one of the 10 top small towns in the US and is the home base for three of California’s top wineries.  The ceremony took place outside, where the weather was wonderful (for October!) and for the 130 or so guests. Then everyone moved inside for cocktails—and the day ended with dinner and dancing on the patio.

“The ceremony was everything we could have wished for. Rabbi Gellman did a wonderful job. In the spirit of transparency—I have to say that I woud have wanted David as our wedding officiant even if he hadn’t been my dad’s second cousin! He married my brother and sister-in-law a few years ago in Savannah, Georgia. It was a beautiful wedding, and I wanted the same for us.”